Babies are amazing. They grow and change with confusing speed, don’t they? All of the clichés and things “been there, done that” moms say are annoyingly true. It really does go so fast, and you really should enjoy every moment. That being said, there are some moments that I just can’t enjoy no matter how “precious” they are. After 5 babies, I am convinced that there are milestones of growth that are just NOT that fun. Here are 11 Not-So-Awesome Baby Milestones”
- Masterful Grip (hair pulling) – The first time your angel baby makes a fist and wraps her tiny hand around her mama’s finger the whole world swoons. But when those little fingers get a grip of mama’s hair…??? You need the frickin’ jaws of life to release what few strands have managed to stay connected to the scalp! There is a reason for the standard mom bun (you know, besides the fact that she may only get to wash her hair every 4 days) and why every new mom gets the urge to chop her locks 3 months into the gig.
- Hand/eye/mouth Coordination – You know what it means when your sweet baby’s brain makes the connection that it can command the hand to make controlled movements? All of a sudden, your baby becomes part reptile and can only make sense of their environment by licking/sucking/eating everything in sight. Like that time my little beauty decided to further investigate that brown thing the dog left behind… not awesome.
- Intentional Arm Movement (face slapping) – It’s all fun and games until someone gets B-slapped by a baby.
- Crawling Outside of Boundaries – It’s so exciting when babies start figuring out how to move their arms and legs in perfect sequence to get them wherever they want to go! Such jubilation! Until they mix their newfound mobility with their growing sense of adventure and curiosity and just HAVE to see what is going on in that one room Mom & Dad haven’t had a chance to baby-proof (which, is there really such a thing?), or see if they can make everyone yell again when they spot that brown thing the dog left behind (can you tell I’m traumatized?).
- Opening Cupboards – This one isn’t such a bad thing for the most part. And yes, I know there are little gizmos to lock those cupboards down, but I hate those. And it just makes me sigh that we are at the point where I have to decide how much. FYI, I don’t have any chemical cleaning products that make this a hazardous issue. It’s just an annoying one.
- Voluntary Diaper Removal – Again, I know this is an easy fix (just keep clothes on the kid), but it’s just that it’s another thing to have to think about ALL THE TIME. It’s hard enough getting the baby to stay still long enough to change a diaper, and sometimes it’s just all you can do to get that last tab fastened and they are flipped over and on the move faster than seems physically possible. Wrangling them back and getting both feet through some sort of bottom-covering garment is just… not awesome.
- Game Playing (peek-a-boo w/ computer screen) – I often have to work either on the floor or on the couch with the laptop on my lap (go figure). With the crawling and masterful grip squarely underway, her new favorite is pulling as fast and as hard as she can on the computer screen and laughing hysterically. Ha…ha.
- Interest in Solid food (grown-up plate must be 2 ft away from grown-up mouth) – Maybe it’s just me, but I often find either myself or my husband holding he baby during mealtimes. It’s not that difficult until the baby realizes that she can use her newfound hand/eye/mouth coordination and grab anything she wants off of the table. How many times has the beverage cup flown into your lap? Or the fork been swatted out of your hand? Or a baby handful of saucy goodness smeared found its way all over your shirt? Just me??
- Self-Feeding (food throwing) – It’s so lovely not being the sole source of nutrition for my little one. She loves sitting in her high chair and munching down on her baby buffet of soft bites. What I don’t understand is why can’t it end there? Why can’t she just stop messing with it if she doesn’t want anymore? Why can it be NOWHERE near her and must be strewn all over the floor? Just be done! Although, I will say, this is our first time going through this stage while having a dog in the house, so it’s actually a lot less painful this time around.
- Teeth – Have YOU ever been bitten on the nipple? NOT AWESOME!
- Finding Their Voice (screams for days… just because) – the “just because I found out I can and you make the craziest face when I do” scream. Shoot me.
- Sleeping Through the Night (fewer daytime naps) – Congratulations!! Your baby is sleeping longer through the night! Ooohhhh…. so sorry, nighttime will seem like an eternity away. Every.Day.
Isn’t it funny how even in the midst of all of these things (and probably innumerable other less-than-awesome things) raising a baby and seeing their daily growth and changes and development is still one of the biggest joys I have ever experienced? These little people are a gift and keeping a healthy remembrance of how fleeting our time is with them can change the frustration and long days into joy and gratitude for every season we gracefully get to love our babies through.